Finding a team in an unlikely place

What do you think of first when you hear the word TEAM? Hockey? Football? Office? Most of us have an idea of what a team is, but usually we dont associate them with areas in our life such as family? Especially when it comes to teambuilding. Would you take a seminar on teambuilding to run your household?

I would.

At this point in my life it has never been more clear how a team building model would fit so well into my household. As a leader of any team, it is so easy to get caught up in every detail, have our hands in all of the pots, so to speak. We must ask ourselves what are we getting out of this situation? What "need" am i fullfilling by taking on so much?

Personally, I feel that my expecations are very high. I want it all, all the time, and it must be great! not just o.k. GREAT! fantastic and at a certain standard that I hold in my mind. As soon as I let that go, or leave it to others, it seems that things are not just quite the way I envision. This is a terrible match of tennis in my mind. On one hand, I understand the importance of letting go, allowing for things to develop through trial and error. On the other hand, I want things done a certain way and believe firmly that people should take responsiblity for what they want.

When you are wearing too many hats, it is so easy to become overwhelmed. This morning I felt the anxiety of being overly involved. The pressure of doing it all, and the mistake I was making by participating.

Everything is as it should be. I bring craziness into my life by not allowing for others to be a part of my team. I'm micro managing my own life. Exahausted by it all, there comes a time to train, empower, and let go! Time to take my own advice and put it into action. The amazing thing about a team is that when one person falls from grace for a while the other picks put the slack in a postive way without question or critisim.

Hey Teams! you COMPLETE ME!

Cheers to SUNSHINE, I appreciate you, and am grateful for you, so please appear today.

Path To Perfection

One of my "new standards" I have set for myself is to bring love, light, and joy on a daily basis. Being present and in the moment, enjoying what we have and what we are doing, has a very strong power. Some say you must work hard and take action, others say you must visualize to materialize. It can all be a little overwhelming and confusing at times. It's not that I can't understand the theories or won't accept the concepts, it really just boils down to your values, standards, and priorities at the time. If you try to apply everything at once, energy is going in all different directions. My challenge is to come up with my own "model", I'd like it to be simple, easy to apply, and as encompassing as possible. How does "being present" fit into this equation? Grattitude is being present with your life, accepting it the way it is and understanding that it is perfect. Understanding that in order to have trust in life, you must first realize that it is perfect. How do we realize that it is perfect? We re-frame and conclude that everything is happening and has happened to get us to this point, to change, create and allow us to grow. Once we have settled this within ourselves, we are free to trust that everything is just as it should be. So stop for a minute, think about what you are grateful for? I am grateful that I have been faced with a challenging life. One that has been full of emotion! Strong deep emotion, sadness, pain. Which has led me to grow in so many ways. Every challenge that we face, every problem that we tackle, helps us grow. What kind of boring, useless life would it be if we had nothing to solve. Remember in the movie (The Matrix), they had orginally created a world that was "perfect" but the program failed because mankind wouldn't accept it. Truth be told we need drama, so much that some people are addicted! We need growth, change, challenge all of it! Give yourself the gift of being present, by practicing grattitude and disolving doubt.

The truth is perfection, and perfection is the truth.

PLAY

An area I have chosen to concentrate on, and work towards is having fun. I have read in Women's Health books that "play" is an important aspect of our lives, and something that we are missing. It seems at some point we decide that "play" is not cool. We risk looking foolish, messing up our hair & make-up, or actually showing emotion. I have indeed forgotten about play. Recently my peer coach suggested that I write down; what I want more of, and what I want less of. In other words take from one area and concentrate in another. It is clear that in order to bring more FUN into my life, I will not only need to be "present and in the moment", but I will also need to add more play into my daily routine. There is a great company in Vancouver called Dreamlife Design, in the office they have a Nintendo Wii, I had the opportunity to play Tennis on this machine. What stands out most is the fact that I could not stop laughing. Not only at how bad I was, but how funny it was, and the fact that it actually makes you "play" literally. Pure genius. So at the end of the day, when all is said and done a little more "Play" is just what the doctor ordered. Because after all feeling good is a "key factor" in happiness, success, as well as abundance. So it is off I go for a little play time, even if I do start with a game of (clean the kitchen and fold the laundry!)

Live Love Laugh and Enjoy.

jennifer@level88.ca

The Self-Help Religion

Currently the world is in a state of information overload. The Internet has made access to information so easy, blackberry's, cell phones, satellites, t.v., bookstores, brimming content. Self-help, is rising to the forefront of society. A few nights ago, I watched a movie called Kingdom of Heaven. The script itself led to some moments that felt corny rather then genuine, however the overall message and symbolism was intriguing. Orlando Bloom, (the main character), is propelled on a journey to Jerusalem following the tragic suicide of his beautiful bride, whose child was stillborn. He is on a journey to find forgiveness from Christ the lord, for the sin of suicide and for his newly commited murder, defending his wife's honour. I know, this is the stuff Hollywood is made of! but there is a very strong point here. The movie is an excellent representation of Islam, showing the the honourable and just side, and exposing the hypocrisy of Christianity at the time. Religion has long been "scapegoat" for people who's actions are questionable to hide under. As long as my actions are in line in the literal sense, with these rules I am good and will go to Heaven. While people who are kind, and gentle in nature may go to hell due to breaking a so called rule. A rule that may be twisted by man to meet his or her needs.

Finding the greater power that drives us, can be a liberating and confusing experience. Religion has been around so long, and taken so many hits, that in North America it is becoming taboo to discuss, and its reputation is waning.

So if the new religion is Self-Help, or Using the Powers of the Universe, will there be individuals that will abuse and hide under its cloak?

Absolutely, false representation of good is all around us. There will always be people who take advantage of others, and use these ideals to hide their true identities.

When we give to charity, or to homeless people, they may not spend it all on providing help for the needy. The homeless man may by a drink with that change, but at the end of the day who are we to judge? Should these kinds of things stop us from doing good? If our intentions were to be compassionate, then no.

To summarize, we cannot stop believing in improving ourselves, our spirits, our souls our lives, simply because there are people out there abusing it. In the same sense we don't need to feel that we there is one specific way to do things. Really our decisions on how we move forward with our lives are more simple. Do we want to improve? Do we have values that are good and self improving? Religion has may theoretical ideals, that many people have made into a literal translation. We should be careful to examine our new ways of thinking, and understand they are meant to be a shift in perspective and have much more to do with our mind set.

In my opinion, Religion if practiced with an open and caring heart, in the non-literal sense, can produce the same results as theories of the universe or self help. Paying omage to people who have enriched this universe, with such great spirit and heart, can't possible be a negative thing.

As we go into the future, we should simply be aware that self-improvement can be described in thousands of ways.

I wonder, what got us to the point of needed so much self help?
I wonder, what is the lesson to be learned by the apparent lack of family structure?
What role does the "lack of" or respect for Religion, play in this current state?

Here is to happiness, at the most basic of all levels.

Cheers to the chocolate chip cookie!
The late nights with friends...
The smell of the crisp ocean air~
The kindness of a child.
The dog chasing his own tail!


Ahhh.. and my favourite, gazing at the night sky full of stars.


There, I self-helped myself feel better for today.

CHEERIO~!

Feedback

Constructive feedback is essential. Sometimes we offer feedback in the form of an opinion with a sincere desire to help. The trick is to ensure we use our words and actions in a way that the other person receives it as feedback and be aware whether it is solicited or not. If someone comes to you with a problem, usually it is because they want some feedback, but sometimes it could be just to be a sounding board. Try to ask the person if they would like feedback from you. An example would be; it sounds like this is really bothering you,do you mind if i give you some feedback on the situation?

Criticism
Personal
Fault-finding
Opinion based
Unsolicited
Subjective
Focused on the past
Destructive
Emotional

Feedback
Not Personal
Opportunity Finding
Fact Based
Often Welcomed
Objective
Focused on the future
Constructive
Not emotional, neutral

These techniques can be used in a professional or personal setting. Receive and give the gift of feedback.

for more info e-mail jennifer@level88.ca

Energy flows where attention goes

Driving to work today, I'm in a great mood. The sun is not out yet but I can feel it coming, and the air is warm after all. It's a very short drive I should walk, but that's another goal I will have to tackle. The perfect parking spot right in front of me, mindlessly I pull towards the curb. A blue and white camper van beats me to it, I decide to pull in behind him. Realizing that there is not enough room, I mindlessly pull around him and accidentally cut off another driver. She is rightfully agitated, I continue on. She's behind me and I want to apologize, but as I pull to the stop sign and wait for her, I can see her shaking her head behind me. She's too upset with me at this point. Pulling around to the other side of the parking lot I can see the camper van again. He is parked almost a car length from the car in front of him. It is clear that if he just pulled forward a bit, there would be plenty of room for me to park behind him. Driving and anger seem to go hand in hand. We are frequently frustrated, as soon as we are behind the wheel we can no longer relate to man kind. Everyone is an idiot, and we are in the right of way. I was bothered slightly that the van couldn't be troubled to move forward enough for my car to fit. But what I realized in the moment is how silly it is to allow this tiny little event set the tone for my day. Really it is time to laugh out loud at our selves! How funny is it that these things get us going, we spend this much energy on getting upset, over something so minor. Think about how you started your day, was it shaking your head at someone driving slow in the fast lane? or mumbling discriminating remarks?

It is really up to us to decide where we want our energy and attention to go. If you are spending more time putting energy towards things not in line with your standards and goals, you are literally wasting your time. Think of small ways you can improve where you concentrate your energies. Think again when you get upset about something trivial, is it really worth it? Remember, yesterday may have been good or bad, but today is and can be GREAT!

jennifer@level88.ca

contact for additional information on how to use your time
and attention wisely.

Hosing, the opposite of respect

Parents almost always want what is best for their children. Usually this starts out strong and idealistic, but as time goes on, challenges present themselves and that ideal scenario becomes a fading memory. Visions of our children becoming doctors, famous singers, baseball players, dance in our head. We dream of this perfect life, full of joy and success. What we forget most of the time is that our babies, immediately after birth are taking one day at a time towards becoming adults just like us. With real jobs, real problems, and real stress. Once we hit the dreaded teen years, the impending adult-hood becomes all too real. Challenges are compounded by the modern day bombardment of sensory overload brought on by technology. Not only are they facing opportunity to engage in activities that are beyond their maturity level, they are also involved in complex relationships with themselves and others. Children don't have the same vision of the world as us parents do, they view their world as a place where they are either validated or hosed. They are either approved of and great, or they are a let down, and everything is their fault. Once a child feels he/she is a let down, they freeze,they have been psychologically hosed. Motivation disappears, along with self-respect, and boundaries.

Parents may view the lack of motivation as typical teenage behaviour. Once the child engages in activities where a lack of boundaries has landed them in major trouble, parents get scared. Out of fear can come hosing. Yelling at a child, putting them down, showing them how dissapointed we are in them, only continues the journey towards total lack of respect for oneself.

How would you feel if your child got drunk, then ended up staying the night at the park?
How would you feel if your child decided to stop talking to you?
How would you feel if your child decided to take drugs or have sex?

Think it can't happen to you? It won't happen to you?

The point of this blog is to follow up on respect. We all need to learn how to respect ourselves first before we can teach others. If you are a parent who expects that the love you feel in your heart is enough to teach a child self-respect, think again.

Learn how to gain self respect, how to set standards, and set boundaries, and empower your adults in training to do the same.

comments, questions, coaching; jennifer@level88.ca

R E S P E C T

This is the heavy weight champion of self growth. The top contender for moving forward, and the actual key in hand, to success. I must mention, that in my mind, respect rules above all, even in some cases love. Love does conquer all, but the definition of love is always changing, sometimes its empathy, sometimes its compassion, sometimes its passion. Setting a standard of respect for ourselves and the way we choose to move forward with our lives is laying the foundation for the future.

Over the years I have seen countless examples of people living their lives with very little or no respect for themselves. Ultimately the outcome of living this way is people become a product of their environment. Victimized they ride the roller coaster of life with eyes closed, and forget they have the chance to open them. The ride is full of fear and seems to go no-where, and just when they think there is a break it begins all over again. To make matters worse they don't know any other way and need the ride to feel sane. In other words, they continue to attract what they expect from the world in order to validate their thoughts, and prove to themselves they are right and sane.

The hard truth is this. It doesn't matter who you are, if you would like change, if you would like success and happiness you need to establish respect for yourself first and foremost. How do you establish respect for yourself? Set standards! a code that you live your life by and stick to it. Next, reinforce or set up your boundaries based on these standards. Watch how this can change your life.

If you would like additional information or support; e-mail jennifer@level88.ca
www.level88.ca