Hosing, the opposite of respect

Parents almost always want what is best for their children. Usually this starts out strong and idealistic, but as time goes on, challenges present themselves and that ideal scenario becomes a fading memory. Visions of our children becoming doctors, famous singers, baseball players, dance in our head. We dream of this perfect life, full of joy and success. What we forget most of the time is that our babies, immediately after birth are taking one day at a time towards becoming adults just like us. With real jobs, real problems, and real stress. Once we hit the dreaded teen years, the impending adult-hood becomes all too real. Challenges are compounded by the modern day bombardment of sensory overload brought on by technology. Not only are they facing opportunity to engage in activities that are beyond their maturity level, they are also involved in complex relationships with themselves and others. Children don't have the same vision of the world as us parents do, they view their world as a place where they are either validated or hosed. They are either approved of and great, or they are a let down, and everything is their fault. Once a child feels he/she is a let down, they freeze,they have been psychologically hosed. Motivation disappears, along with self-respect, and boundaries.

Parents may view the lack of motivation as typical teenage behaviour. Once the child engages in activities where a lack of boundaries has landed them in major trouble, parents get scared. Out of fear can come hosing. Yelling at a child, putting them down, showing them how dissapointed we are in them, only continues the journey towards total lack of respect for oneself.

How would you feel if your child got drunk, then ended up staying the night at the park?
How would you feel if your child decided to stop talking to you?
How would you feel if your child decided to take drugs or have sex?

Think it can't happen to you? It won't happen to you?

The point of this blog is to follow up on respect. We all need to learn how to respect ourselves first before we can teach others. If you are a parent who expects that the love you feel in your heart is enough to teach a child self-respect, think again.

Learn how to gain self respect, how to set standards, and set boundaries, and empower your adults in training to do the same.

comments, questions, coaching; jennifer@level88.ca