The "Heart" of the matter

When it comes to accountability some of us are better at accepting it then others. Whether it be in the workplace or family setting, accepting responsibility for our actions can be a challenge. Why is it a challenge? What makes taking responsibility for ourselves so difficult? A lot of it has to due with fear. Fear of failure, fear of putting ourselves out there, and also fear of having control and owning it. It is always easier to blame someone or something for the way things have turned out. Blame vs. Responsibility is so strong in so many relationships that this tool alone can be used as a powerful catalyst for real change. Whether it is a family situation, marriage, workplace, friendship, there is always room to explore your role in "why" things are what they are? Families above all can be the most complex. Here you have many individuals with their own beliefs, judgments, perspectives, and overall attitudes. Merging together to form a unit. The family unit, would ideally work as a team. Supporting one another and helping each other through thick and thin. Lets take a look at what happens when blame takes over a family and responsibility takes a back seat. The first point to be made is that families, ideally, like teams should try to build themselves on a set of standards; values, and practices. It is clear that this is not always the case, and the results are felt by so many people. When blame takes over a family there can be devastating consequences. Loss of connection between loved ones, loss of precious time, and the agonizing feeling that comes with lack of closure. Family members may decide to no longer speak to each other, resist contact, or just simply fall out of touch with people they love. A great quote on this subject "Resentment is like taking poison and expecting someone else to die". What role do each of us play when we decide to resent and blame another person for our feelings and situation. If we can understand that it is our choice to view the world through a particular perspective and to get to that perspective we must understand what our role is in creating the circumstances we are in. Our lives, our happiness, our persepctives are in our own hands, if that is true then what happens when we blame? We become the victim, we are allowing others to be in control of our lives rather then accepting that it is us. Now blaming ourselves is not the answer either, the difference is that blame is when you have never accepted responsibility whether its internal or external. When you make the choice to be accountable, you make the choice to accept that you did what you did at that time because you were possibly getting something out of it, and didn't know any other way at that time. It's an objective view of the situation from all angles. The concept of blame vs responsibility has many layers as does the application. Encourage yourself to examine your life at this moment, are there any areas where you are using blame to cover your own fear of accountability? Think about it, it is much easier to hide behind another persons actions and play the victim, then to stand up and say, Yes I am accountable for my actions, I had a role in creating these circumstances. Take the remedy and get to the heart of the matter, begin to be accountable for your perspectives and actions in this life. Resist the poison of resentment, and focus on the power of responsibility. Own your moments and your actions and your life.

jennifer@level88.ca