To respond or to react? it's our choice.

At any given point in our lives, we are always in one form of action: either a
RESPONSE
or REACTION

When people are first introduced to the idea of responding rather then reacting, it is pretty amazing see the reaction. Usually it is one of disbelief, maybe a bit of denial, or even curiousity. However, recently people are being introduced to the idea that there are choices we can make to improve our quality of life beyond our brand of toothpaste, or choice of luxury vehicle.

One of the champion tools we have is the choice whether to react or respond. When we are in a state of reaction, we are allowing our emotions to dictate our actions. Reacting can often perpetuate a problem, or enlarge a complaint, and can even tear down, rather then build up relationships. In reaction we often see a lot of blaming the "other person" rather then being accountable. Reacting is an outcome of the past, and is coming from some kind of emotional need. It is important to note that that a reaction can be internal or external, our thoughts count too.

Let's look at an example of work place reacting.

Anna has been working long hours on a project she is very passionate about. She has put in a lot of time and effort, and has even missed family commitments to complete her work. Finally the project is coming to an end, she just needs a bit of feedback from her supervisor before she can feel good about finalizing it and passing it over. She knows how busy her supervisor is, and reluctantly gathers the courage to ask for a bit of feedback prior to completion. Overworked and stressed out, Anna is feeling very nervous. However, her supervisor is also very busy, and pushes the feedback date forward for another two weeks.

1.)The supervisor sends her a quick e-mail saying. Good Afternoon, Anna. I am very busy these next two weeks and won't have a chance to look at this project until then.

+ What kind of reaction might anna have to this scenario?
+ What kinds of emotinal needs might she bring into this equation?
+ What common commitments or standards could she have been jeapordizing?

Anna might decide that her supervisor doesn't have time for her, therefore doesn't value her work. Most likely she is not going to "react" externally to her boss out of fear. However, it is easy to see how some internal reactions may begin to simmer.

What could Anna do in this situation to respond rather then react?

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The key to Responding is to identify your feelings. Detect, Label, Let go and then Respond. It is especially important in the world today to identify that when our goals, values, and missions align we can respond better and more easily. We can take responsibiliyt for ourselves and make the choice that respect comes from the response we can give. Our emotional maturity needs to be encouraged by practicing extreme real self care in our physcial, intellectual, emotional, and spiritual quandrants. This is the short-cut to creating an environment where one can respond rather then react.

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Questions? Discussion?
jennifer@level88.ca